CSI: Hyper-V – Episode 1

On the next CSI: Hyper-V

The I.T. team travels through NET TIME to save an innocent virtual machine.

CSI-Hyper-V

(No, I don’t know why I do this stuff. It just pops in my head…)

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Video – Funny VMware-to-Hyper-V Conversions

Want to see a video about VMware to Hyper-V conversion that funny?
No, seriously, you’ll like it.

MAT4Shift

Fast and easy VMware migration

Check out more about MAT (powered by Project Shift) here:

Props: Thanks to Scott Drost for the link.

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Crazy Screen Shots – Big Files

Today I created the single largest file of my life, 14.6 Terabytes, thanks to Storage Spaces in Windows Server 2012 R2:

14.6 TB file in Windows Server 2012 R2 with Storage Spaces

This file was created on a 1U Dell C1100 server with NO external storage.

  • 4 each Western Digital Red WD40EFRX 4TB IntelliPower 64MB Cache SATA 6.0Gb/s 3.5" NAS Internal Hard Drive
  • 1 each Kingston SSDNow V300 Series SV300S37A/120G 2.5" 120GB SATA III Internal Solid State Drive

Because I can.

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Stupid PowerShell Tricks – Getting Your PC to Talk

WarGamesRemember the 80’s? (Too young?)

One of my 80’s favorites was the movie WarGames.

(Hint: You should really watch it on Netflix – it’s a classic.
Here’s the WarGames movie trailer for you kids.)

Anyway, for those of you who DO remember War Games, that speech synthesizer was pretty creepy back in the day.
But it was equally cool because speech was pretty rare in those days unless you had a Texas Instruments TI-99/4A (which I did – woot!)

It’s hard to believe that movie came out 30 years ago, and technology has changed a lot. Windows has had speech built in for quite some time, but did you know you can access the speech API with PowerShell?

Who cares, right? WRONG! It’s pretty fun! And it’s a good bit of code to use to prank your IT co-workers. (Think login script or batch file that runs as a scheduled task…)

Here is a video demo of Windows Server 2012 reading classic computer lines from the movie WarGames:

“Joshua” from WarGames (1983) as played by Windows Server 2012 & PowerShell

 

Not too shabby for a Windows Server, eh?

So, shall we play a game?

Below is the PowerShell code for you to play with and tweak.
Have fun annoying people!

WarGames.ps1

Copy-and-paste code for WarGames.ps1

<#
.SYNOPSIS
    This script employs the Speech API for speaking
    and quotes lines from the movie "WarGames" (1983)
.DESCRIPTION
    At the beginning load the Speech API, create a SpeechSynthesizer object.
    It uses this object’s Speak method to speak
.NOTES
    File Name : WarGames.ps1
    Code From : DimiG | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg6icbeHWVY
    Requires  : PowerShell Version 2.0
.EXAMPLE
    Just for tutorial
#>

# Add text for speaking here
$text = @(`
"Hello, my name is Joshua.",`
"Greetings Professor Falken.",`
"Shall we play a game?",`
"Of course. I should reach DEF CON 1",`
"and launch my missiles in 28 hours.",`
"Would you like to see some projected kill ratios?",`
"What’s the difference?",`
"You are a hard man to reach.",`
"Could not find you in Seattle",`
"and no terminal is in operation at your classified address.",`
"D O D pension files indicate current mailing as:",`
"Dr Robert Hume,",`
"AKA Stephen W Falken,",`
"5 Tall Cedar Road.",`
"Strange game.",`
"The only winning move is not to play.",`
"How about a nice game of chess?"`
)

# Load the dll
[System.Reflection.Assembly]::LoadWithPartialName("System.Speech") | out-null

# Create new object
$spk = New-Object System.Speech.Synthesis.SpeechSynthesizer

# Step Up Volume
$spk.SetOutputToDefaultAudioDevice();
$spk.Volume = 100

# Check out voices installed on this computer…
$spk.GetInstalledVoices() | %{$_.voiceinfo}

# Now say…
$spk.Speak($text)

Props: DimiG for the PoSh code

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